- Baths. These awful things get me all wet and my fur tastes funny. It's awfully hard to lick all my fur dry and put it back in place. To make matters worse — I've even heard my humans laugh at me because I'm a lot smaller without all my fur looking pretty.
- Coming inside at night. I should be able to come in whenever I want to! My humans should be waiting for me. That's their job.
- Loud noises for no apparent reason. These are freaky! It makes me think the house is gonna cave in on me or something. I never know what's going on. Sometimes I can't hide from it. It's all around, and only when it's really wet outside and the sky starts flashing. That's probably just a coincidence.
- Vacuum cleaners when they're turned on. What kind of human being created these awful noisy things that act as if they're gonna swallow me whole? When vacuum cleaners are off, they're okay. I make a point to lie on the vacuum cleaner hose when it's off. Not only is it comfortable, it let's the vacuum know who's boss.
- Orange peels, and the peels of things like it. They smell so bad. Plus it gets in my eyes and they sting. Whoever came up with the idea that food should have a defense against cats? It's a good thing my humans keep them in line by eating them.
- Toothpaste. How can humans stand these awful smelly things that hurt my eyes? And put them in their mouths too! This is out of my control. I can't save them from this.
- That stupid, mean orange cat that always tresspasses onto my property. I know, it has some nerve! It's a good thing my humans can chase it away.
- Dogs. They're noisy and stupid, end of story.
- Little kids that like to pet too hard and pull my tail. Enough said
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Em In Black